


form voltron i guess

by starssshine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron) Has Two Moms, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Pansexual Shay, Platonic Relationships, Slow Burn, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Straight Lotor (Voltron), i literally put the canon compliant tag and then realized i made pidge nb and i had to fix it whoops, klance, so many tags i am sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15686841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starssshine/pseuds/starssshine
Summary: redhas changed their name tokeithkeith:finallylance:it was funny watching you strugglekeith:thanks so muchlance:you’re welcomeblack:Play nice, boys.lance:ah, Dad has arrivedOr, the groupchat shenanigans that occur throughout Voltron. After all, there's no way you could form Voltron without teamwork, friendship, and memes, right?





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> me? writing her first multi-chapter fanfic ever? it's more likely than you think  
> enjoy my trash writing to make up for the trainwreck that was season 7
> 
>  **edit:** i have decided to add in the notes what episode each chapter is supposed to be set in, bc i realized how confusing and all over the place it might not be for someone who isn't thinking exactly what i'm thinking
> 
> so this chapter is **season one, episode one**

**_blue_ ** **has added** **_yellow_ ** **,** **_red_ ** **,** **_green_ ** **, and** **_black_ ** **to “form voltron i guess”**

 

 **_blue_ ** **has changed their name to** **_lance_ **

 

 **lance:** have you all tested out these phones the princess gave us? we can text each other apparently

 

 **lance:** i’ve been messing around with mine for a while

 

 **_green_ ** **has changed their name to** **_pidge_ **

 

 **pidge:** i’ve been busy trying to track the galra, and you know, save us, but that’s great lance.

 

 **lance:** oh come on, leave me alone pidge

 

 **lance:** we all know you’re a tech guy

 

 **lance:** the princess didn’t give us any orders to do anything, so i’m relaxing and trying to accept the fact that we are now in space and the universe’s only hope of survival

 

 **red:** how do you change your name

 

 **pidge:** you still could be training or bonding with your lion, lance.

 

 **lance:** let me live, gremlin

 

 **red:** how do you change your name though

 

 **lance:** oh hey keith

 

 **lance:** want me to come help you? i suck at typing explanations

 

 **red:** it’s fine

 

 **red:** i’ll go ask pidge, he’s closer to the training deck

 

 **lance:** oh, so pidge is better than i am

 

 **lance:** okay then

 

 **lance:** mullet

 

 **red:** why do you have something against my hair?

 

 **lance:** because it sucks

 

 **pidge:** lance, keith, if you want to argue please spare me, hunk, and shiro

 

 **pidge:** and yes i know they are lurking

 

 **lance:** hunk would never betray me like this

 

 **yellow:** Please, Lance.

 

 **lance:** friendship ended with hunk, blue is my new best friend

 

 **yellow:** :(

 

 **lance:** i

 

 **lance:** i deserve an apology but you make me feel like apologizing

 

 **yellow:** :D

 

 **_yellow_ ** **has changed their name to** **_hunk_ **

 

 **red:** wait pidge where did you go

 

 **red:** you aren’t on the bridge anymore

 

 **pidge:** oh ye i went to the library

 

 **pidge:** it has a ton of data about altea and the galra

 

 **hunk:** There’s a library here?

 

 **lance:** how big is it

 

 **pidge:** you guys can come down and see it you know

 

 **lance:** but have you considered this castle is giant and i have no clue where to go

 

 **red:** i found it, hey pidge

 

 **pidge:** oh hey

 

 **_red_ ** **has changed their name to** **_keith_ **

 

 **keith:** finally

 

 **lance:** it was funny watching you struggle

 

 **keith:** thanks so much

 

 **lance:** you’re welcome

 

 **black:** Play nice, boys.

 

 **lance:** ah, Dad has arrived

 

 **lance:** i’m sorry father

 

 **keith:** what?

 

 **lance:** don’t tell me you never picked up on shiro’s dad vibes

 

 **lance:** i noticed it and i’ve known him for less than two days

 

 **pidge:** i’ve been told about him since i was like, five, and i can confess that matt called him the Dad Friend

 

 **black:** Matt said what?

 

 **lance:** oh my god

 

 **keith:** wait

 

 **hunk:** Coming back to this chat is wild and it’s existed for maybe ten minutes

 

 **lance:** hunk i love you

 

 **hunk:** I love you too, Lance <3

 

 **pidge:** i can never tell if you two are dating or just best bros

 

 **lance:** nah hunk and i are just close

 

 **lance:** we were roommates when we first got to the garrison and everything went downhill from there

 

 **pidge:** oh my god they were roommates

 

 **lance:** askfkajsgdh

 

 **hunk:** But neither of us spoke English as our first language, both of us loved space, neither of us were jerks,

 

 **lance:** and we became best friends

 

 **pidge:** aw, that’s cute

 

 **_red_ ** ** < ** **_green_ **

 

 **red:** hey, uh, pidge?

 

 **green:** what’s up? do you need more tech help? you literally just left

 

 **red:** no but

 

 **red:** i didn’t think about it during the mission but

 

 **red:** the holts only had one son

 

 **red:** matt only had a little sister- i remember meeting her with shiro a few times

 

 **red:** katie

 

 **red:** so

 

 **red:**?

 

 **green:** uhh

 

 **green:** well

 

 **green:** yeah i’m katie technically, i renamed myself pidge gunderson to get back into the garrison after being kicked out and said i was a boy

 

 **green:** but at this point i honestly prefer they/them pronouns over she/her or he/him and the name pidge bc it isn’t feminine or masculine really

 

 **green:** gender is weird

 

 **green:** but yeah i’m katie holt technically but i prefer pidge

 

 **green:** i know it’s confusing, sorry. you can just use he/him for now if you want bc the rest of the paladins don’t know except for shiro probably

 

 **red:** no, it’s fine.

 

 **red:** this explains a lot actually

 

 **red:** i, uh, i’m not very good with people

 

 **red:** sorry

 

 **green:** keith, i’ve known you for years technically, you aren’t getting rid of me yet

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **hunk:** Did you know that Lance is, in fact, a Shiro Stan?

  
**pidge:** oh my god


	2. they bond i guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **pidge:** shiro, are you ever going to change your username
> 
>  **black:** I don’t have time for that.
> 
>  **keith:** he doesn’t know how
> 
>  **black:** Keith, I will murk you.
> 
> Or, they bond over text. Because why the hell not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i write two chapters? in one night? _who is this and where did she come from_
> 
> but anyway here's the chapter
> 
> this chapter is **season one, episode two**

**form voltron i guess**

 

**lance:** and then i told her i liked someone else

 

**hunk:** :O

 

**hunk:** Who was it back then?

 

**lance:** i’m pretty sure it was when i first met that one kid

 

**lance:** you know

 

**hunk:** No, I don’t know.

 

**lance:** ugh

 

**lance:** phoenix? sphinx? something mythological i think

 

**lance:** GRIFFIN

 

**lance:** yeah him

 

 **lance:**  but then i found out he was a dick so

 

**keith:** wait, you like guys?

 

**lance:** yeah…

 

**lance:** is there a problem with that?

 

**lance:** :)

 

**keith:** no, of course not

 

**_black_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

**black:** So, Keith.

 

**black:** Lance?

 

**red:** don’t even talk to me

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**hunk:** There better not be :)

 

**lance:** but yeah i’m bi

 

**lance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**hunk:** and i’m pan

 

**pidge:** oh, are we doing sexualities?

 

**pidge:** lit

 

**pidge:** i’m ace :P

 

**hunk:** Valid

 

**hunk:** What about you, Keith?

 

**keith:** oh

 

**keith:** uh

 

**keith:** i’m gay

 

**lance:** valid

 

**black:** I’m gay as well.

 

**pidge:** shiro, are you ever going to change your username

 

**black:** I don’t have time for that.

 

**keith:** he doesn’t know how

 

**black:** Keith, I will murk you.

 

**lance:** afjaksghd

 

**hunk:** Does this count as bonding?

 

**lance:** yeah, can we take a break from the constant bonding stuff the princess is making us do? like, allura is gorgeous and all, but i thought we could take a break after we destroyed her in the food fight

 

**black:** We can’t let our guard down, paladins. Zarkon could attack at any time.

 

**pidge:** oh my god 

 

**pidge:** shiro, you’re great and all, but you do not need to be professional all the time

 

**keith:** hunk uses proper punctuation too, though?

 

**lance:** yeah but hunk is a gem

 

**hunk:** :*

 

**lance:** :*

 

**pidge:** true love

 

**black:** I may have only known you all for a few days, but I can agree that Hunk is great.

 

**hunk:** Thank you!!

 

**lance:** this is so soft alexa play only us from dear evan hansen

 

**keith:** what?

 

**pidge:** that is such a good song from such a good musical tbh

 

**keith:** what’s dear evan hansen

 

**hunk:** rip

 

**lance:** I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW DAER EVAN HANSEN IS AN EPITOME OF GOOD MUSIC AND ACTING

 

**pidge:** daer

 

**keith:** daer

 

**lance:** this is homophobia

 

**lance:** but anyway

 

**hunk:** daer

 

**lance:** i swear to god

 

**_red_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

**red:** so about that

 

**black:** (✧ ͜ʖ✧)

 

**red:** how do you even make that face

 

**black:** (⚆∀⚆)

 

**red:** oh my god

 

**black:** But seriously Keith, don’t internalize your emotions again.

 

**black:** I know how you acted around your last crush.

 

**red:** what crush

 

**red:** when

 

**black:** Keith.

 

**red:** fine

 

**red:** but taylor was weird

 

**black:** And you’re sure his name was Taylor?

 

**red:** shiro, he went around telling people to call him the taylor so i hope so

 

**black:** Okay then, I guess.

 

 **red:**  ??

 

 **black:** Nothing.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**hunk:** What are your guys’ favorite colors?

 

**pidge:** oh my god hunk you are so pure

 

**hunk:** uwu

 

**hunk:** But really what are they?

 

**lance:** you know i love blue, just like my lovely lion

 

**pidge:** strangely enough, i like orange

 

**hunk:** I like yellow!

 

**pidge:** literally hunk you are so lovely

 

**lance:** agreed

 

**keith:** i like red.

 

**lance:** of course you do

 

**keith:** what’s that supposed to mean

 

**lance:** what do you think it means

 

**black:** I like green.

 

**keith:** what do you want me to think it means

 

**pidge:** this house is a fuCKING NIGHTMARE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading my shit and commenting ily all sm


	3. chaos.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **black:** My brother, Keith, died a few minutes ago.
> 
>  **keith:** shiro, please
> 
>  **black:** Sometimes I can still hear his voice.
> 
> Or, the author has no fucking clue what she's writing anymore. Enjoy the memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, looking over the comments: more than two comments on a fic? my uwu is taking over! ~i'm a teenage writer~
> 
> but seriously wtf i have so much love in the comments i'm honestly going to cry thank y'all so much
> 
> this episode is **between season one, episode two and season one, episode three**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** imma bad bitch you can’t kill me

 

 **pidge:** ….?

 

 **lance:** oh

 

 **lance:** wrong person whoops

 

 **hunk:** Lance, who else are you texting besides us?

 

 **lance:** how do you know it isn’t one of you hm

 

 **pidge:** lance.

 

 **lance:** fiiiiiiiine

 

 **lance:** i was texting a friend

 

 **hunk:** Lance we are in the middle of space

 

 **lance:** does that mean i can’t have friends?

 

 **pidge:** yes

 

 **lance:** fuck off

 

 **keith:** this chat is an experience, to say the least

 

 **lance:** a good experience

 

 **keith:** no comment

 

 **lance:** thanks so much for your input guess what no one cares

 

 **keith:** just like how no one cares about you

 

 **black:** Keith!

 

 **pidge:** that’s a big oof

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **black:** Keith.

 

 **red:** what

 

 **black:** Are you serious?

 

 **red:** what

 

 **black:** Not only are you being pushing away your crush, you’re being a jerk in general.

 

 **red:** woah i had no clue

 

 **black:** Why am I the one stuck raising you.

 

 **_blue_ ** **< ** **_yellow_ **

 

 **blue:** hmmmm

 

 **yellow:** :(

 

 **yellow:** I’m sorry buddy

 

 **blue:** no it’s okay i started this rivalry it’s my fault really

 

 **yellow:** Lance, listen. I don’t think Keith is being an asshole just to annoy you. There’s probably something else going on.

 

 **blue:** look, i don’t care. it’s my fault for starting it and now i have to pay for it

 

 **yellow:** Where are you right now?

 

 **blue:** my room

 

 **yellow:** I’m omw

 

**form voltron i guess**

  


**pidge:** did you all die or

 

 **keith:** no, i’m here

 

 **black:** I’m alive. Still.

 

 **lance:** i’m here

 

 **hunk:** I’m with Lance

 

 **hunk:** [sent one image]

 

 **pidge:** aww, you two are sweet

 

 **lance:** is that pidge? showing emotion???

 

 **pidge:** ye

 

 **keith:** woah

 

 **keith:** a rare cryptid

 

 **pidge:** wait you like cryptids

 

 **keith:** of course

 

 **lance:** ugh here we go again

 

 **pidge:** get on the bridge. immediately. we must discuss.

 

 **keith:** absolutely.

 

 **lance:**  at least you’re sparing us

 

 **hunk:** Pidge, I love you, but you are obsessed with your cryptids to the point it’s unhealthy.

 

 **black:** What’s a cryptid?

 

 **lance:** ajskfljfjd

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **green:** are you coming?

 

 **red:** uh

 

 **red:** i may have

 

 **red:** gotten lost

 

 **green:** oh my god

 

 **green:** where are you now?

 

 **red:** uh

 

 **red:** idk?

 

 **green:** sigh

 

 **green:** can you make it to the library?

 

 **red:** i think so?

 

 **green:** you are a disaster

 

 **red:** thanks

 

 **green:** you’re welcome

 

 **_blue_ ** **< ** **_green_ **

 

 **blue:**  hey pidge

 

 **green:** yeah lance?

 

 **blue:** are you with keith rn

 

 **green:** not yet no

 

 **blue:** so uhh do you think he hates me or is that just me

 

 **pidge:** lance, you did start the rivalry. you probably made him think he has to one-up you in everything, including insults.

 

 **blue:** yep

 

 **blue:** i done fucked up

 

 **green:** p much

 

 **blue:** thanks so much

 

 **green:** and yes, keith said that but i doubt he knew you had that kind of insecurity

 

 **blue:** insecurity?

 

 **green:** lance i’m not dumb, i had to work with you for a year at the garrison

 

 **green:** you cover your fear of being rejected with false bravado and confidence

 

 **blue:** wtf

 

 **blue:** how do you even k n o w that

 

 **green:** i’m a scientist lance

 

 **green:** i pay attention

 

 **blue:** well uh

 

 **blue:** thanks? is that what i say in this situation

 

 **blue:** thanks for being there, man

 

 **green:** no prob lance

 

 **green:** also you know you aren’t subtle

 

 **blue:** uhh

 

 **blue:** hasta la later gotta blast

 

 **green:** you can never escape me! :D

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** alright lance’s daily question time

 

 **lance:** what do you guys like to do in your free time

 

 **hunk:** You know what I like to do.

 

 **hunk:** I like to work on stuff, engineering, kind of.

 

 **pidge:** coding and cryptids

 

 **lance:** nice alliteration

 

 **pidge:** thanks

 

 **keith:** i like drawing i guess

 

 **keith:** and building stuff

 

 **black:** I mean, I taught classes back at the Garrison. And I had to raise Keith.

 

 **lance:** oof that must have been hard

 

 **keith:** wow

 

 **black:** It was, really.

 

 **keith:** w o w

 

 **pidge:** there is no better way to bond than roast sessions

 

 **keith:** not when you’re roasting ME

 

 **black:** My brother, Keith, died a few minutes ago.

 

 **keith:** shiro, please

 

 **black:** Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

 

 **lance:** did-

 

 **lance:** did shiro just meme

 

 **pidge:** yep

 

 **hunk:** I think so

 

 **black:** Just because I’m the oldest doesn’t mean I can’t be hip like you youngsters.

 

 **hunk:** Oh my god

 

 **pidge:** “hip like you youngsters” i’m deCeasEd

 

 **keith:** actually, shiro is the youngest.

 

 **keith:** his birthday is February 29th

 

 **lance:** o h  m y g o d

 

 **lance:** this has to count for team bonding

 

 **black:** We still have practice later, team.

 

 **pidge:** fuck

 

 **hunk:** This is panphobia

 

 **lance:** how

 

 **hunk:** I’m pan and I don’t like it

 

 **pidge:** why are you both so extra

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **black:** So you have extra laps today during training.

 

 **red:** oh come on

 

 **red:** why

 

 **black:** You betrayed me

 

 **red:** oh my god i only told them your birthday

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** pidge can you do the math to see how old shiro is

 

 **pidge:** uhhhh yeah he is 6 years old

 

 **hunk:** Amazing

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **black:** “i only told them your birthday”

  
**red:** shut your fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro's a memer and you can tear this headcanon from my cold, dead hands  
> thanks for reading ily all


	4. super secret drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **black:** Why don’t you ask Lance?
> 
>  **red:** you are the bane of my existence.
> 
>  **black:** :D
> 
> Or, you get a hint of the slow-burn that hasn't existed yet. The author doesn't know how to plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm literally being fueled by these comments, i've said this so many times but i'm not a popular author and logging in to see a few comments in my inbox makes me day. thank you all so much.
> 
> now the chapter
> 
> this chapter is **between season one, episode three and season one, episode four**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** we should add the princess

 

 **hunk:** Oh man, we never added her?

 

 **lance:** ye

 

 **hunk:** Oof, you’re right.

 

 **hunk:** Go for it man!

 

 **pidge:** no flirting in front of me

 

 **pidge:** my asexual virgin eyes

 

 **lance:** pidge we know you aren’t innocent

 

 **lance:** you even had a girlfriend, right? she looked cute

 

 **pidge:** sigh

 

 **_yellow_ ** **< ** **_green_ **

 

 **yellow:** How long do you think it will take him to realize that you are not, in fact, the boy in that picture?

 

 **green:** wait wtf when did you realize

 

 **yellow:** You honestly think I went through the garrison without realizing you aren’t a boy? I’m not completely oblivious, Pidge.

 

 **green:** oh

 

 **green:** well

 

 **green:** yeah um i don’t use she/her tho either pls use they/them ty

 

 **yellow:** Of course!

 

 **yellow:** You’re valid

 

 **green:** <3

 

 **yellow:** <3

 

 **yellow:** But anyways

 

 **yellow:** I’m willing to bet that he will guess within the next few days.

 

 **green:** i doubt he will realize until i tell him outright

 

 **yellow:** I have twenty dollars I brought from earth

 

 **green:** you’re on

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **keith:** so, are you gonna add allura or….?

 

 **lance:** oh ya

 

 **_lance_ ** **has added** **_pink_ ** **to “form voltron i guess”**

 

 **lance:** hello princess<3

 

 **pink:** Hello!

 

 **_pink_ ** **has changed their name to** **_allura_ **

 

 **allura:** It’s good to be here!

 

 **allura:** Have you all been talking about Voltron?

 

 **pidge:** well

 

 **pidge:** let’s go with that

 

 **hunk:** We’ve been memeing.

 

 **lance:** how could you do us dirty like this hunk

 

 **allura:** I’m sorry, what is “memeing”?

 

 **black:** Oh dear. This will go well.

 

 **lance:** well, it’s kind of difficult to explain over text

 

 **pidge:** i mean, it’s not that hard i think

 

 **pidge:** it’s a part of earth culture than involves shitposting and making stupid jokes that are seen as funny- yeah this is harder than i thought

 

 **keith:** hey princess

 

 **allura:** Hi Keith! And memeing sounds… interesting, to say the least. There is so much about earth culture I do not understand.

 

 **lance:** you got that right lmao

 

 **allura:** “Lmao”?? What does that mean on Earth? Is it some type of slang?

 

 **hunk:** dsafghasdfkjghd

 

 **_red_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **red:** shiro

 

 **black:** What do you want now?

 

 **red:** can you help me with my phone i can’t figure stuff out

 

 **black:** No.

 

 **black:** I’m busy.

 

 **red:** doing what?

 

 **black:** I’m helping Allura on the bridge. We want to fix the particle barrier, now that we know monsters like the Gladiator exist.

 

 **red:** oh?

 

 **red:** ,’:)

 

 **black:** Keith, I’m so gay.

 

 **red:** yeah i know i’m just being the annoying brother

 

 **black:** You technically aren’t even my brother.

 

 **red:** you and adam basically adopted me, don’t fight it

 

 **black:** Don’t bring him up.

 

 **black:** Please.

 

 **red:** okay but

 

 **red:** can you please help me with my phone

 

 **black:** No.

 

 **red:** goddamn it

 

 **red:** i’m pretty sure pidge is coding or doing smth on their computer

 

 **black:** Why don’t you ask Lance?

 

 **red:** you are the bane of my existence.

 

 **black:** :D

 

 **_red_ ** **< ** **_blue_ **

 

 **red:** uh

 

 **red:** lance?

 

 **blue:** what’s up man

 

 **red:** i’m not very good at this sorry

 

 **red:** but can you come help me with my phone? i’m still not sure how to do a lot of stuff

 

 **red:** you seem like someone who has time on his hands to mess around with a phone

 

 **blue:** why aren’t you asking pidge? i thought you always wanted him to be the one helping you.

 

 **blue:** and isn’t he closer, anyway?

 

 **red:** look, i’m sorry i did that one. time.

 

 **red:** is it a crime to go ask a friend for help that isn’t you

 

 **blue:** you aren’t even my friend, really. we just have to work together to make voltron work.

 

 **blue:** if you’re just going to mock me you can ask someone else

 

 **_red_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **red:** shiro

 

 **black:** What now?

 

 **red:** i think i fucked up majorly

 

 **black:** You are a disaster.

 

 **red:** shut up

 

 **_blue_ ** **< ** **_yellow_ **

 

 **blue:** hunk

 

 **blue:** i have so many regrets

 

 **yellow:** We been knew

 

 **blue:** no but like

 

 **blue:** how do you take screenshots gdi

 

 **blue:** here

 

 **blue:** [sent two images]

 

 **yellow:** Oh my god, Lance

 

 **yellow:** Why can’t you just flirt with him like any other person you think is attractive?

 

 **blue:** i have a reputation to uphold!

 

 **yellow:** I can’t even

 

 **_yellow_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **yellow:** Hey Shiro?

 

 **black:** What’s up, Hunk?

 

 **yellow:** Is there any way you can subtly tell Keith to be more polite and apologetic when trying to make friends?

 

 **black:** This is like a sitcom.

 

 **yellow:** It really is.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **keith:** does anyone know how to get to the camera on these stupid phones

 

 **hunk:** I do! But I’m on the other side of the castle, I think.

 

 **keith:** damn

 

 **hunk:** I’m also very sure that if you went up to Pidge, they would hate you for some time because you interrupted their work.

 

 **keith:** yeah i’m smarter than that

 

 **lance:** really i didn’t know

 

 **black:** Lance, be nice.

 

 **lance:** mmmmmmmm

 

 **keith:** i give up, i’m going to the library and learn how to do it myself

 

 **lance:** just like the way you do literally everything else

 

 **keith:** i give up

 

 **_red_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **red:** why. does. he. hate. me. so. smuch.

 

 **black:** I mean, you are pretty easy to dislike.

 

 **red:** literally why are you like this

 

 **red:** you are nothing but professional in the gc

 

 **black:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **allura:** Are those two always like this?

 

 **hunk:** Yeah. Lance started a rivalry at the Garrison, and then Keith didn’t remember him or something, and then Lance started it again.

 

 **allura:** Interesting.

 

 **allura:** Is this common on Earth? To start a rivalry with someone you are compatible with?

 

 **black:** Oh my god, Allura.

 

 **allura:** What?

  
**lance:** what the FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've wanted to write this chapter since the beginning but i had to establish plot first so
> 
> also y'all don't know how long it took to get allura in there- she kept not fitting in with the plot of chapters so i literally had to make a chapter begin with her otherwise i would never get her in afjsdhgksjh
> 
> but just so you know this will be a slowburn don't expect a romance right away- keith and lance will fight for some time (and if s8 gives them hetero ships don't expect me to listen to canon)
> 
> thanks for reading ily all


	5. this has more pidge than most voltron episodes and that's saying something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **pidge:** hello?
> 
>  **pidge:** can anyone see this?
> 
> Or, the episode that's almost entirely Pidge in the show made into a chapter entirely about Pidge, ft. literally no Hunk and Lance because they are on a rock or unconscious, respectively. Lauren Montgomery would be jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this is the longest chapter yet and it's mostly pidge my fingers are so tired of typing green and pidge
> 
> eh oh well she was barely in the last one for a reason
> 
> ok enjoy
> 
> this chapter is **season one, episode four**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** hello?

 

 **pidge:** can anyone see this?

 

 **pidge:** shiro?

 

 **pidge:** allura? keith?

 

 **pidge:** i know hunk and coran are going to the balmera

 

 **pidge:** but if one of you guys could answer it would help with a lot of stress

 

 **pidge:** sure, the phones only work...within two thousand yards of the castle…

 

 **pidge:** and they shut themselves off if their user is incapacitated or dead

 

 **pidge:** so obviously lance’s won’t be working while he is unconscious

 

 **pidge:** and shiro is probably keeping watch and is too busy to answer

 

 **pidge:** and i have no clue where allura and keith are

 

 **pidge:** for all i know, the particle barrier being down might have an effect on the way they transmit

 

 **pidge:** i can’t talk yet because the galra are so close to me

 

 **pidge:** i’m going to try and transmit in a few minutes though

 

 **pidge:** maybe keith and allura can help

 

 **pidge:** at least i have rover

 

 **pidge:** i’m not sure why i am still texting

 

 **pidge:** but i’m not going to stop because it makes me feel less alone i guess

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_pink_ **

 

 **green:** allura?

 

 **green:** you probably can’t respond

 

 **green:** but i’m sorry i talked about leaving voltron

 

 **green:** i still want to go

 

 **green:** my family is the most important thing in the world to me

 

 **green:** but the universe is more than a family

 

 **green:** our whole team has families and loved ones

 

 **green:** i can’t stay this selfish

 

 **green:** i’m going to save you all

 

 **green:** or i’m going to die trying

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** hmm

 

 **pidge:** so the galra particle barrier is clearly interfering with the signal and range exponentially

 

 **pidge:** so allura and keith can’t talk to me here

 

 **pidge:** but i’ve talked to them with my helmet

 

 **pidge:** so the helmet system has a better system than the phones, which makes sense, considering the helmets are made just for battle and the phones for shits and giggles

 

 **pidge:** maaaaaybe i could lift the signal more?

 

 **pidge:** but it would be utterly useless since i can just talk to allura and keith with my helmet

 

 **pidge:** anyway, texting is helping me think this through better

 

 **pidge:** okay, i need to get down to the castle’s engine thing

 

 **pidge:** hm

 

 **pidge:** i can fit in the vents i guess

 

 **pidge:** aaaaand maybe if i start to work on that hologram tech i was creating earlier i can fool the soldiers into leaving me and attacking a fake me!

 

 **pidge:** alright, gotta blast

 

 **pidge:** dk who i’m saying this to but oh well

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_blue_ **

 

 **green:** hey

 

 **green:** i’m going to get you back

 

 **green:** i know you are unconscious rn and things are looking pretty bad

 

 **green:** but i am going to do this

 

 **green:** i don’t care how hard it is

 

 **green:** you’ve saved my ass enough, whether it’s from iverson at the garrison or zarkon

 

 **green:** you deserve nothing less

 

 **green:** see you soon, sharpshooter

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** okay, i can’t get to the particle barrier

 

 **pidge:** there’s no way

 

 **pidge:** i have no clue how to do that

 

 **pidge:** god i have to though

 

 **pidge:** hhh

 

 **pidge:** okay, get to the engine first, pidge

 

 **pidge:** and then make your way there

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_yellow_ **

 

 **green:** i know you’re on the big rock or smth right now

 

 **green:** but i’m sorry if i don’t get out of this

 

 **green:** if i don’t make it, find matt and my dad for me

 

 **green:** or you don’t have to, i mean, it’s your choice and you should probably save the universe rather than me

 

 **green:** but if you have the time

 

 **green:** thanks

 

 **green:** you’re a good guy, hunk

 

 **green:** this is cheesey as FUCK but don’t let anyone ever take away your shine

 

 **green:** because you are the brightest, nicest person out of all of us

 

 **green:** you go, dude

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** i’m in the vents

 

 **pidge:** the galra will probably find me soon enough

 

 **pidge:** there is no possible way to get that damned particle barrier down

 

 **pidge:** i’m sorry you all

 

 **pidge:** i’m not going to stop trying, but we’re going to need a miracle if we are all going to get out of this

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **green:** hey

 

 **green:** we’re still getting to know each other

 

 **green:** but it’s been a great time with you

 

 **green:** you have that annoying, standoffish aura about you

 

 **green:** but you’re a good guy

 

 **green:** if i don’t make it out of here and everyone else does, quit being a dick to lance

 

 **green:** you both aren’t subtle

 

 **green:** okay, i’ll see you on the other side

 

 **green:** i hope

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **green:** hey shiro

 

 **green:** i have no clue what’s going on with you now

 

 **green:** i can only hope you are still taking care of lance

 

 **green:** but

 

 **green:** i hope you are okay

 

 **green:** and i’m doing everything i can to get the rest of the team back

 

 **green:** you were like a surrogate big brother these last few days (weeks?)

 

 **green:** thanks

 

 **green:** i’ll be with you soon, one way or another

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** well

 

 **pidge:** i’m going in to get lance and shiro if i can

 

 **pidge:** see you all on the other side

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **keith:** pidge?

 

 **keith:** pidge, are you okay?

 

 **keith:** fuck

 

 **keith:** the mice got the barrier down, allura and i are coming, pidge

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **keith:** well, we made it

 

 **allura:** Lance is safe in the cryopod, and Hunk and Coran should be back in the next few vargas.

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_green_ **

 

 **black:** I’m very proud of you, Pidge.

 

 **black:** You did the impossible.

 

 **green:** i mean, the mice helped

 

 **black:** Still.

 

 **black:** I’m glad to have you back on the team.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **black:** I think the real hero today was Pidge, don’t you?

 

 **_pink_ ** **< ** **_green_ **

 

 **pink:** Pidge, you are a paladin. I trust you to save me any day, and I know how it feels to have opposing desires and duties. But I know you will make the right choice.

 

 **green:** thanks, princess

 

 **green:** and i’m definitely staying.

 

 **green:** i know that’s the right choice now.

 

 **pink:** Good.

 

 **pink:** Thank you, Pidge.

 

 **green:** <3

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **allura:** I agree Shiro. They really saved the day.

 

 **_red_ ** **< ** **_green_ **

 

 **red:** first of all, thank you for saving us and thanks for calling me "a good guy" or whatever

 

 **red:** second of all, how are lance and i not subtle???

 

 **green:** oh, so you’re still in denial

 

 **red:** fuck off, gremlin

 

 **green:** :P

 

 **red:** but really, thanks for saving us

 

 **green:** no problem man

 

 **green:** but i have a question for you

 

 **red:**??

 

 **green:** were you and lanCE HOLDING HANDS AFTER THE BATTLE

 

 **red:** bye

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **keith:** for once, i agree with shiro

 

 **black:** rude

 

 **pidge:** thank you all

 

 **pidge:** now

 

 **pidge:** to business

 

 **allura:** Yes. We must start to fix up the Castle- Sendak and his men really did a number on it.

 

 **pidge:** while lance is unconscious, what gossip can we spill about him

 

 **keith:** asfkjashdfkjsdgd

 

 **black:** Pidge.

 

 **pidge:** i’m sorry

 

 **allura:** Well, I’m pretty sure he has a crush on Keith.

 

 **keith:** i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear my fingers kept slipping up and typing "green" in the groupchat or "pidge" in the dms so i apologize if there are any mistakes
> 
> also, i promise pidge will not dominate this fic this episode gave me no choice
> 
> and allura doesn't ship klance she's just not blind
> 
> ok that's enough goodbye ily all


	6. *voice crack* wE HaD A bOndInG MomEnT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **hunk:** So the waitress comes back with the drinks, right? And she asks me “Hey, do you want some chicken?”
> 
>  **hunk:** And I was obviously really confused because she was still giving out drinks (I got chocolate milk btw because it’s obviously the superior milk)
> 
>  **hunk:** So I say “No?” and she looks at me for a second and goes “Do you know who told me to give you chicken?”
> 
>  **pidge:** this is honestly so wild
> 
> Or, we get a chapter of shitposting, because last chapter was emotional. We all love some good memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i updated this three times today. no, school has not started yet. yes, i am trying as hard as i can to get this pretty far in before school. no, i will not stop updating as frequently after school begins because school is the bane of my existence.  
> thanks for the comments y'all i am LIVING  
> also the "jesus chicken" story is credited to a friend of mine who doesn't have an ao3 but she's reading this so, thanks bb ily  
> oki have fun
> 
> this chapter is **season one, episode six**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** so i’m still fucking shook

 

 **lance:** i wake up and pidge is not a boy, i had a bonding moment??? and hunk got a girlfriend

 

 **pidge:** oh ya hunk you owe me those 20 bucks remember

 

 **hunk:** Heck

 

 **lance:** you were betting on me finding out?

 

 **lance:** by the way pidge are you she/her or they/them or smth else? you said you /were/ a girl but like now,,,,,

 

 **pidge:** they/them thanks ly

 

 **lance:** i gotchu fam ly2

 

 **keith:** i’m just confused as to how lance didn’t figure it out

 

 **keith:** hunk, allura, shiro and i weren’t even subtle, we called them “them” all the time

 

 **hunk:** ^^^

 

 **lance:** okay first of all i wasn’t giving my whole attention to the gc like 100% of the time

 

 **lance:** and second

 

 **lance:** /where is the oxford comma/

 

 **keith:** the oxford comma is unnecessary

 

 **lance:** oh my god

 

 **hunk:** Keith,,,,,

 

 **black:** I’m emerging from my lurking state to tell you I have never been more disappointed in you.

 

 **keith:** this is homophobia

 

 **allura:** Hello everyone!

 

 **allura:** What’s an oxford comma?

 

 **black:** Well, you know what a comma is, clearly.

 

 **allura:** Yes, of course! As Alteans, Coran and I have learned several thousand languages in order to be successful diplomats. In fact, English was a commonly known language on Altea!

 

 **hunk:** That’s so cool!

 

 **black:** But the oxford comma is the comma at the end of a list. For instance, in Keith’s sentence, he said “hunk, allura, shiro and i weren’t even subtle…” The oxford comma would be after “Shiro” and before “and”.

 

 **allura:** Oh, of course! The entényio, in Altean.

 

 **lance:** If I didn’t know better, it sounds like Shiro and Allura are getting real friendly ;D

 

 **black:** Lance.

 

 **allura:** Lance.

 

 **black:** I can’t believe I have said this twice in one week to two different people on the same topic: I’m so hecking gay.

 

 **lance:** wiat who else said you and allura were a thing and who tf says “hecking”

 

 **black:** Wiat

 

 **hunk:** wiat

 

 **keith:** wiat

 

 **allura:**? What?

 

 **lance:** oh my god

 

 **_blue_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **blue:** was it you

 

 **red:**??

 

 **blue:** who said shallura was a thing

 

 **red:** shallura?

 

 **blue:** ye

 

 **red:** first of all yes it was bc shiro’s a little bitch

 

 **blue:** relatable

 

 **red:** and second i thought you liked allura?

 

 **blue:** well

 

 **blue:** i mean have you looked at her recently she’s gorgeous

 

 **red:** i’m gay lance

 

 **blue:** goddamn gays

 

 **red:** :O

 

 **blue:** jk

 

 **blue:** but i mean, she’s beautiful and nice and a PRINCESS how could i not have a crush on her

 

 **blue:** but at the same time i think i like someone else

 

 **red:** who

 

 **blue:** no one of your concern

 

 **red:** oh

 

 **red:** sorry

 

 **blue:** no it’s okay i’m just messing with u

 

 **red:** oh

 

 **red:** okay

 

 **blue:** you aren’t very good with people are you

 

 **red:** thanks

 

 **blue:** sorry i didn’t mean that rudely just

 

 **blue:** i did kind of start that rivalry with you

 

 **blue:** i just assumed you acted weird around me bc of that

 

 **blue:** but it looks like you’re just introverted?

 

 **red:** well i’m on the spectrum, so

 

 **red:** i don’t really bring it up a lot but yeah

 

 **blue:** valid

 

 **red:** akjfksd

 

 **blue:** i’m serious tho

 

 **blue:** one of my little brothers has autism and i know that doesn’t mean i know what it’s like cause it’s different for everyone but u get what i’m saying?

 

 **red:** yeah i do

 

 **red:** thanks, lance

 

 **blue:** no problem bro

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **hunk:** So the waitress comes back with the drinks, right? And she asks me “Hey, do you want some chicken?”

 

 **hunk:** And I was obviously really confused because she was still giving out drinks (I got chocolate milk btw because it’s obviously the superior milk)

 

 **hunk:** So I say “No?” and she looks at me for a second and goes “Do you know who told me to give you chicken?”

 

 **pidge:** this is honestly so wild

 

 **hunk:** I say “No??” and she goes “Jesus. Jesus said to give you chicken.” And smiles at me really creepily

 

 **black:** Oh my god.

 

 **hunk:** And then my mom just kind of “Can we have more bread, please?”

 

 **allura:** Earth sounds… strange, to say the least.

 

 **lance:** it really is

 

 **pidge:** where have you been

 

 **pidge:** you disappeared

 

 **lance:** i was just messing around idk man

 

 **hunk:** I would doubt you but that happens too often.

 

 **lance:** :D

 

 **pidge:** honestly i think it’s sad how

 

 **pidge:** fuck are those alarms

 

 **allura:** Paladins, get to the bridge! We have a distress beacon we are intercepting!

 

 **lance:** omw

 

 **_yellow_ ** **< ** **_blue_ **

 

 **yellow:** Okay, I get it, defenders of the universe and all

 

 **yellow:** But please, for the love of god, can we GO SAVE SHAY

 

 **blue:** hey calm down pal

 

 **blue:** it’s gonna be ok

 

 **blue:** take deep breaths

 

 **yellow:** I’m okay, I’m okay

 

 **yellow:** I’m just worried.

 

 **blue:** i get it

 

 **blue:** we’re almost there, we better go to the lions

 

 **blue:** ily hunk

 

 **yellow:** ily2 lance, see u on the planet

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **hunk:** i

 

 **pidge:** we know

 

 **hunk:** i told you so

 

 **allura:** We know

 

 **black:** We know

 

 **keith:** we know

 

 **lance:** We Been Knew

 

 **pidge:** drift with everyone but lance bc he is extra

 

 **lance:** :(

 

 **hunk:** CAN WE JUST GO SAVE SHAY NOW

 

 **hunk:** AND STOP CHECKING OUT THE HOT GUY/GIRL

 

 **hunk:** @ Keith and Lance

 

 **lance:** :O

 

 **keith:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **pidge:** ahem

 

 **hunk:** And hot robot, excuse me

 

 **pidge:** thank you

 

 **allura:** PALADINS, focus please! :)

 

 **keith:** that is the most passive aggressive smiley face i have ever seen

 

 **lance:** accurate

 

 **_pink_ ** **< ** **_black_ **

 

 **pink:** How have you managed to live in a group chat with them?

 

 **pink:** It’s the most chaotic thing I’ve ever seen!

 

 **black:** In time, you learn you do not live.

 

 **black:** You watch them and suffer in silence.

 

 **pink:** Is this why you seem so down all the time?

 

 **black:** I mean, I also suffered in a Galra prison and fought as a gladiator for a year.

 

 **pink:** Oh.

 

 **black:** I’m tired.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** all who vote pidge as voltron’s secretary, say aye

 

 **pidge:** nay

 

 **keith:** why not?

 

 **pidge** : i’m busy hacking the castle

 

 **hunk:** To do what?

 

 **lance:** oh my god

 

 **hunk:** Did you just-

 

 **keith:** ….

 

 **pidge:** you can never go wrong with a little rick astley!!!! :D

 

 **lance:** i can’t even

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_pink_ **

  
**black:** I’m so tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye okay so i made keith autistic but i am not myself autistic so please! it won't be a huge part of this fic but! tell me if i fuck up! thanks so much! if i do it is not intentional! thanks!  
> also i love keith but the oxford comma is so important he can shut his filthy texan mouth  
> thanks for reading ily all


	7. emotions? i wish i didn't know her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **black:** Kids these days.
> 
>  **keith:** shiro you are literally in my generation
> 
>  **black:** So disrespectful.
> 
> Or, there are feelings in this chapter. The author is writing this at one in the morning (someone help her).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by an emotional breakdown, pre-school stress, an overload of sleeping at last, and a pidge in a pear tree  
> enjoy
> 
> this chapter is **between season one, episode eight and season one, episode nine**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** can i get an order of seven naps

 

 **black:** Same.

 

 **hunk:** That whole ordeal was…

 

 **pidge:** exhausting

 

 **allura:** Tiring

 

 **pidge:** DRIFT

 

 **allura:** What?

 

 **pidge:** it’s an earth concept where- nevermind

 

 **keith:** why is everyone alive right now we should be sleeping

 

 **lance:** look keith, that event was traumatizing

 

 **lance:** i can’t just sleep after that

 

 **pidge:** lance wow that’s-

 

 **pidge:** i was going to be super rude there wow your suffering is so valid

 

 **lance:** awww<3

 

 **hunk:** I agree with Lance, honestly. I miss listening to music to relax and fall asleep.

 

 **black:** Space Spotify should exist.

 

 **pidge:** AGREED

 

 **allura:** Spotify?

 

 **black:** It’s something you can add to your phones back on earth that plays music.

 

 **allura:** Oh! You mean Klänime! We had that on Altea.

 

 **hunk:** You are telling me…

 

 **pidge:** allura why didn’t you tell me this already i am downloading this immediately

 

 **lance:** lol

 

 **hunk:**??

 

 **lance:** i downloaded it almost as soon as we got here lol

 

 **hunk:** LANCE

 

 **lance:** look we haven’t had much time to relax lately

 

 **lance:** we are lucky to catch a break now after fighting that fucking balmera monster shit

 

 **pidge:** fair

 

 **black:** Do you guys know it’s the middle of the night?

 

 **lance:** wait what

 

 **hunk:** Shiro, we are in space.

 

 **allura:** Yes, the Castle’s night cycle is currently running.

 

 **pidge:** oh ya i noticed but my sleeping schedule is fucked already so

 

 **lance:** i think all of ours are

 

 **hunk:** Wait a second I just had a thought

 

 **hunk:** Lance how did you know to get… whatever that music app is?

 

 **lance:** uh

 

 **lance:** no comment

 

 **keith:** of course

 

 **lance:** do you really enter this chat just to snap at me because i do Not need this kind of negativity in my life okay

 

 **_yellow_ ** **< ** **_blue_ **

 

 **yellow:** Buddy

 

 **yellow:** Bro

 

 **yellow:** Babe

 

 **blue:** yes

 

 **yellow:** Are you okay?

 

 **blue:** i’m fine

 

 **yellow:** You seem off, Lance

 

 **blue:** we are in the middle of a space war that we very well may die in. i think all of us are “off”

 

 **yellow:** Lance :(

 

 **blue:** hhhhhhhhhh

 

 **blue:** idk honestly

 

 **blue:** i just feel like shit.

 

 **blue:** i miss my family

 

 **blue:** i miss my big sister veronica who taught me how to shoot a gun when i was twelve and my twin sister alicia who basically read my mind and my little brother marco who doesn’t have half his teeth and brags about it to his friends and my little brother luis who just learned how to walk and my mamá and my nephews and nieces

 

 **yellow:** I’m sorry Lance

 

 **yellow:** I miss my family too

 

 **yellow:** I miss my mom and my tina and my truckload of cousins and my aunts and uncles and /everyone/

 

 **yellow:** But you know we are here to save them, right?

 

 **yellow:** If we weren’t fighting, the rest of the universe would just roll over and let the Galra win

 

 **blue:** i know

 

 **blue:** i just

 

 **yellow:** I know.

 

 **yellow:** But right now, we can’t do anything but win. We have to win for them.

 

 **blue:** i know

 

 **blue:** thanks hunk

 

 **blue:** i love you, man

 

 **blue:** you are keeping me sane out here with my rival and a beautiful princess and a crazy mustache man and pidge and my hero

 

 **blue:** you’re my best friend

 

 **yellow:** And you are mine<3

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** allura, so the castle can still wormhole without you?

 

 **allura:** Yes! The Castle stores up my essence so that in times of need it can function without me.

 

 **pidge:** that is so cool yet so creepy

 

 **allura:** It really is.

 

 **keith:** is there any way to put your energy into the particle barrier?

 

 **keith:** is that a thing?

 

 **keith:** because, let’s be honest

 

 **lance:** i’ve had drinks stronger than the particle barrier

 

 **black:** Lance, you aren’t even eighteen yet. I doubt you’ve ever actually gotten drunk.

 

 **lance:** yes and

 

 **black:** I see your point.

 

 **allura:** Don’t you paladins want to get some sleep?

 

 **lance:** hunk just went to bed

 

 **keith:** and you know this how

 

 **lance:** I Love Him

 

 **pidge:** fair

 

 **pidge:** but allura i haven’t slept since the womb

 

 **black:** Pidge, I literally found you asleep on top of some robot you were building.

 

 **pidge:** that was so long ago get over it father

 

 **black:** It was last ni- No it was not, we were fighting last night.

 

 **black:** It was however many nights ago it was that we last slept.

 

 **black:** And if we can’t remember when we last slept, there’s an issue.

 

 **keith:** smh i can last another day

 

 **lance:** my skincare can’t so.

 

 **lance:** goodnight all

 

 **keith:** goodnight lance

 

 **pidge:** night lanceeeeeee

 

 **black:** Goodnight, Lance.

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **black:** Keith, when are you going to let yourself relax around everyone?

 

 **red:** shiro i can feel your deadpan through the screen whenever i see you typing

 

 **black:** But I do it as an exhausted father; you are a youthful kid who is closing himself off from the only people he has left.

 

 **red:** why you gotta call me out like this

 

 **red:** and i know you aren’t letting yourself get attached either takashi

 

 **red:** i’m not dumb

 

 **black:** Shiro.

 

 **red:** oh

 

 **red:** okay?

 

 **black:** Don’t call me Takashi. Please.

 

 **red:** OH

 

 **red:** i’m sorry shiro

 

 **red:** i forgot

 

 **black:** It’s okay, I know.

 

 **black:** It’s been a year, I should be over this. We aren’t even together anymore.

 

 **red:** if it means anything, i think he never wanted to break up with you

 

 **red:** he missed you

 

 **red:** he was sad

 

 **red:** not angry

 

 **red:** he loved you

 

 **black:** Thanks, Keith.

 

 **black:** Now, can we change the subject before I mentally hurt myself any more?

 

 **red:** ansndkkfjdkd

 

 **red:** change the subject to what

 

 **black:** I mean, I was thinking a certain Blue Paladin, but I don’t know.

 

 **red:** i can’t fucking believe

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** according to my computer which somehow maintained earth time it is 12:07 a.m.

 

 **keith:** the witching hour

 

 **allura:** I literally have no clue what you Earthlings are talking about most of the time.

 

 **black:** If it’s any consolation, I am confused most of the time as well.

 

 **black:** Kids these days.

 

 **keith:** shiro you are literally in my generation

  
**black:** So disrespectful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i probably missed some typos but j really tried guys  
> shiro is literally me projecting every ounce of sarcasm i have onto him and i have no regrets  
> thanks again for comments and kudos like 1.5k hits? 200 kudos? it hasn't even been a week y'all are making me uwu to the max  
> thanks for reading ily all


	8. this chapter is chaotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **lance:** god i love that man
> 
>  **lance:** coran coran
> 
>  **lance:** coran coran the gorgeous man
> 
>  **lance:** hey that’s not half bad
> 
> Or, there is a mess of a chapter. Some platonic love. More slowburn. You know the drill, folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's been a bit but i've had literally no inspiration and school started and wow it's hard kill me bls
> 
> but here's a chapter, thanks for reading and commenting, i lvoe you all
> 
> this chapter is **season one, episode nine**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** this is boring

 

 **lance:** allura

 

 **lance:** do we have to stare at this guy for the rest of the day

 

 **black:** Lance, Allura is resting. That’s why she isn’t here with us.

 

 **lance:** ughhhhhhhhhhhh

 

 **lance:** i wish i could at least have her beautiful face while we stare at the cat demon galra guy

 

 **black:** Why are you still texting here? The only person not on this group chat is with us.

 

 **lance:** god i love that man

 

 **lance:** coran coran

 

 **lance:** coran coran the gorgeous man

 

 **lance:** hey that’s not half bad

 

 **keith:** that’s stupid

 

 **lance:** fuck off

 

 **pidge:** lance did you just flip him off

 

 **lance:** yes

 

 **hunk:** Guys, don’t forget we have a child in our midst

 

 **pidge:** hunk how could you betray me

 

 **hunk:** I wasn’t talking about you Pidge

 

 **pidge:** oh?

 

 **lance:** is this going where i think it is

 

 **keith:** i hope this is going where i think it is

 

 **hunk:** In fact, Shiro is only six, remember

 

 **black:** This is homophobia.

 

 **lance:** ksfkajsdfhkjadsh mood

 

 **keith:** ok i’m bored

 

 **lance:** wait no don’t leave us

 

 **pidge:** welp

 

 **pidge:** and then there were four

 

 **hunk:** 5, don’t forget Coran

 

 **pidge:** shit you right

 

 **lance:** how could he just leave us this is biphobia

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_yellow_ **

 

 **green:** pls

 

 **green:** tell me i’m not the only one seeing this

 

 **yellow:** No, I see it as well

 

 **yellow:** They aren’t subtle

 

 **yellow:** At least, they think they are

 

 **green:** THANK FUCK i do not want to have to watch them pine alone

 

 **yellow:** What?

 

 **yellow:** Pine?

 

 **green:**???

 

 **yellow:** We are talking about Lance showing Coran memes and telling him they are reality back on earth?

 

 **green:** oh my fucking god

 

 **green:** i was referring to lance and keith but

 

 **green:** wait lance is doing what

 

 **green:** god fucking dammit mother of a shitbitch i hate him

 

 **yellow:** Pidge.

 

 **green:** okok

 

 **green:** he’s my friend

 

 **green:** honestly like my big brother

 

 **green:** not that he knows that lol

 

 **yellow:** No, he does

 

 **yellow:** He really loves you, you know

 

 **yellow:** Not like that of course but

 

 **green:** kjashfsjdk

 

 **yellow:** But especially since we left earth

 

 **yellow:** Expect him to “take care of you” even though he knows you don’t need taken care of

 

 **green:** i know

 

 **green:** i know he knows

 

 **green:** and if you tell anyone this i will break your kneecaps

 

 **green:** but i love him too and he reminds me a lot of matt and he helps a lot

 

 **yellow:** That is so soft

 

 **green:** fuck off

 

 **yellow:** :”(

 

 **green:** <3

 

 **yellow:** :D <3

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **allura:** How are you paladins doing?

 

 **black:** Allura, you should be resting. You used a lot of energy healing that Balmera.

 

 **allura:** I know, I know. I got it all from Coran already. I just can’t stand laying in bed all day!

 

 **pidge:** valid

 

 **allura:** That reminds me- what does “valid” mean? I know it is supposed to mean true or accurate, but in this context it doesn’t quite fit.

 

 **pidge:** valid in this context means that you are okay and good just the way you are? like, if a human is upset, they can be validated, which means they are told how worthy they are and such.

 

 **allura:** Oh, of course!

 

 **allura:** That makes much more sense.

 

 **black:** A lot of times, you see someone who is queer or not straight being validated, or told they are okay to be who they are.

 

 **allura:** Queer being different?

 

 **black:** Queer being when boys like boys and girls like girls. For instance, I am gay, which means I like boys. Lance is bisexual, which means he likes guys and girls. Etc, etc.

 

 **allura:** You have words for that?

 

 **allura:** Why not just let people love who they love? We don’t have different words for sexualities.

 

 **pidge:** i just got here but i agree 100%

 

 **pidge:** earth culture is fucked up

 

 **allura:** Honestly, it seems like it.

 

 **allura:** But in case any of you were wondering, I myself like all genders.

 

 **black:** So, pansexual?

 

 **allura:** I guess so!

 

 **pidge:** nb ace fellow here :D

 

 **black:** Wait- did the power just go out?

 

_Your message could not be sent._

 

 **black:** What?

 

_Your message could not be sent._

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **allura:** Nb?

 

_Your message could not be sent._

 

 **allura:** Oh no.

 

_Your message could not be sent._

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** hello? where did you all go?

 

_Your message could not be sent._

 

 **pidge:** oh fuck

 

_Your message could not be sent._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it's a cliffhanger, but it's the one with the castle going wild bc alfor and stuff and texting wasn't happening while that was happening so don't expect me to pick up the cliffhanger bc like  
> canon does  
> the only time i properly accept canon lol
> 
> i just realized this is also kinda short i am sorry it's been a long week akfksdjh
> 
> have a good day, y'all, thanks for reading <3


	9. chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **lance:** mission schmission
> 
>  **lance:** i need beauty sleep
> 
>  **allura:** Well, the universe needs saving.
> 
>  **pidge:** get rekt
> 
>  **hunk:** Please never say that again
> 
> Or, it's been years. The author is sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so sorry life happened and inspiration went *poof*  
> but have another chapter of memes and mentions of adam bc i have no self control and i miss him  
> enjoy
> 
> this chapter is **between season one, episode nine and season one, episode ten**

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** ok so how long can i nap

 

 **lance:** i never want to see a holograph (is that what you call it) person again

 

 **black:** Not long. We have to get ready for our next mission.

 

 **lance:** mission schmission

 

 **lance:** i need beauty sleep

 

 **allura:** Well, the universe needs saving.

 

 **pidge:** get rekt

 

 **hunk:** Please never say that again

 

 **pidge:** fuck off

 

 **black:** Pidge, I keep forgetting you are fourteen. You swear like you’re nineteen.

 

 **pidge:** why nineteen specifically

 

 **black:** You didn’t know me then.

 

 **keith:** i did

 

 **black:** Say another word and I send baby pictures.

 

 **keith:** woah okay calm down no need to jump to drastic measures

 

 **_green_ ** **< ** **_red_ **

 

 **green:** explain

 

 **red:** well

 

 **red:** long story short he had no filter

 

 **red:** at all

 

 **red:** i met him when he was almost twenty, i think i was maybe twelve? i don’t remember exactly but i began swearing when i was rly young bc of him

 

 **red:**...and adam

 

 **green:** adam as in

 

 **red:** yeah, you of all people would remember him

 

 **green:** yeah, matt knew him bc he was best friends with shiro

 

 **red:** but anyway

 

 **red:** idk how shiro had a job tbh he swore like a sailor

 

 **green:** this is amazing thank you

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **lance:** ALLURA!!

 

 **allura:** What?

 

 **lance:** did altea have facemasks

 

 **allura:** No…?

 

 **hunk:** oh dear

 

 **lance:** i can’t believe

 

 **lance:** you haven’t lived without a facemask

 

 **pidge:** don’t be alarmed allura, they aren’t bad tbh

 

 **pidge:** i wouldn’t do it on a daily basis like he does but i enjoyed it

 

 **allura:** I am very confused.

 

 **lance:** i’m coming to your room with my best ones

 

 **hunk:** are you bringing THE face mask

 

 **lance:** the princess deserves nothing but the best

 

 **lance:**  aka my favorite face mask i have been saving

 

 **allura:** Aw, Lance!

 

 **lance:** ;)

 

 **allura:** I can’t tell if he is actually flirting with me or if it’s just an extended joke at this point.

 

 **black:** I don’t think he’s flirting anymore. I don’t get the “lovestruck boy” vibes anymore.

 

 **lance:** i’m right here

 

 **allura:** Yeah, it seems more joking at this point. I’m glad.

 

 **lance:** well then i guess no face masks as i am too greatly offended

 

 **pidge:** but like shiro is right lmao

 

 **lance:** shut up pidgeon

 

 **_black_ ** **< ** **_blue_ **

 

 **black:** Are you okay, Lance? I didn’t mean to call you out.

 

 **blue:** ur gucci it’s fine

 

 **blue:** i just

 

 **blue:** still enjoy hiding behind that pretense if u know what i’m saying

 

 **black:** As in, you are pretending to like Allura to hide that you like someone else?

 

 **blue:** i never said that

 

 **black:** Well,

 

 **blue:** leave me alone shito

 

 **blue: *** SHIRO

 

 **blue:** i am so sorry that was a typo

 

 **black:** You know, my fiancé used to call me that when he was mad at me.

 

 **blue:** omfg ur kidding

 

 **black:** I wish I was. I really do.

 

 **blue:** adam, right?

 

 **black:** How do you know that?

 

 **blue:** oh everyone knew you two were dating, i didn’t know you were engaged tho

 

 **blue:** ur part of the reason i wasn’t so upset when i realized i was bi

 

 **blue:** i went to adam and he helped me out

 

 **black:** So you are telling me that Adam found his own queer son and didn’t tell me?

 

 **blue:** uhhh i guess so?

 

 **black:** I am going to kill that man when we get back.

 

 **blue:** goals

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

 **pidge:** hey allura

 

 **allura:** Hey Pidge

 

 **pidge:** you know what you should see

 

 **allura:** What?

 

 **pidge:** the thing humans projected to space in case aliens showed up

 

 **keith:** that would be amazing yes

 

 **allura:** Okay? Would it help me understand Earth culture better?

 

 **lance:** probably not but it would be fucking hilarious

 

 **hunk:** ^^

 

 **allura:** Okay then

 

 **allura:** Whenever we aren’t getting ready to see that Galra base Pidge found, I will do it gladly!

 

 **lance:** ew missions

 

 **keith:** lance we are literally saving the universe

 

 **lance:** yes yes i know but that doesn’t mean i have to be enthusiastic

 

 **hunk:** Hey, the faster we kill Zarkon the faster we can go home!!

 

 **lance:** i mean fair enough

 

 **lance:** maybe this place will help us find him

  
**pidge:** i sure hope so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading u funky gays, i love u all
> 
> also idk if there are typing errors in there, if there are i apologize bc i'm gay i can't read


	10. they aren't soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **allura:** So Coran is now only six phoebs old. This is a serious problem.
> 
> **allura:** But it’s also hilarious, I’m not gonna lie.
> 
> Or, the paladins try and communicate on the group chat despite being millions of light years away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so fucking hard to write, you have no idea
> 
> enjoy!!
> 
> this chapter is **season two, episodes one and two**

**form voltron i guess**

 

**lance:** hello?

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**hunk:** Lance? I can hear you, can you see this?

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** hello? can anyone see this?

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** shiro? lance? anyone?

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**black:** Is anyone reading this?

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**allura:** Paladins, can you see this? Please send out a signal, I can’t find anyone and Coran is… well.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**black:** If you are

 

**black:** Please hurry

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** if you can see me, please respond, i’m lost in the middle of space

 

**pidge:** it’s kinda scary out here

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** if you’re here, red is hurt. i can’t get anywhere

 

**keith:** i’m doing my best

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**lance:** hunk?

 

**hunk:** Lance!

 

**lance:** hi yes what the fuck is happening why is it so dark outside my lion and why is blue acting strange

 

**hunk:** I mean, we did fall out of the Castle of Lions

 

**hunk:** Blue’s probably shook or smth

 

**lance:** u rite

 

**lance:** but i think we are underwater? turn on your lights, i’m gonna try and find you

 

**hunk:** K

 

**lance:** oh. you are

 

**lance:** right there

 

**hunk:** Hi!! Here, let’s try our helmets

 

**lance:** alright

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** shiro? are you there?

 

**black:** I’m here.

 

**black:** On some dry-ass planet

 

**keith:** yeah, me too

 

**keith:** red is definitely out of commission

 

**black:** Black isn’t doing so hot. Neither am I, though.

 

**keith:** i’m gonna come and find you two

 

**keith:** just wait a few

 

**black:** I’m trying my helmet- can you hear me at all?

 

**keith:** no, sorry shiro

 

**black:** it’s ok

 

**keith:** gonna stop texting for a minute, i’m leaving red

 

**black:** Don’t die, little bro

 

**keith:** i won’t

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** i can’t see anyone else

 

**pidge:** i swear, i always end up the one texting to an empty group chat

 

**pidge:** hhh

 

**pidge:** please someone find me

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**allura:** I don’t know what to do? Is anyone else seeing these messages? It says they are going through, but I guess the phones only have a certain distance they can text from. Oh dear.

 

**allura:** You all must be very far away.

 

**allura:** I’ll find you. I promise.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**lance:** baby shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo baby shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo baby shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo baby shark!

 

**lance:** mama shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo mama shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo mama shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo mama shark!

 

**lance:** papa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo papa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo papa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo papa shark!

 

**lance:** grandma shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandma shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandma shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandma shark!

 

**lance:** grandpa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandpa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandpa shark doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo grandpa shark!

 

**lance:** let’s go hunt doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo let’s go hunt doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo let’s go hunt doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo let’s go hunt!

 

**lance:** run away doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo run away doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo run away doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo run away!

 

**lance:** safe at last doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo safe at last doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo safe at last doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo safe at last!

 

**lance:** it’s the end doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo it’s the end doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo it’s the end doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo it’s the end!

 

**lance:** i love the ocean

 

**lance:** and mermaids

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** what did the elephant say to the barber

 

**keith:** “i’m orange”

 

**black:** Wh-

 

**black:** OH. That’s actually pretty funny.

 

**keith:** it is?

 

**keith:** shiro i honestly just said the first thing that came to mind bc i ran out of jokes

 

**black:** No!! In America, the Republican animal is an elephant.

 

**black:** Remember President Trump? He was a Republican.

 

**keith:** anD HE WAS FUCKING ORANGE

 

**keith:** i hated that rotten carrot

 

**black:** Me too, Keith.

 

**black:** Wait, are you laughing?

 

**keith:** quick say something

 

**keith:** my voice doesn’t get squeaky when i’m excited, fuck off

 

**shiro:** :^)

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** i’m building a thing

 

**pidge:** not quite sure what it does yet tbh

 

**pidge:** also i found a ton of squishy things that look like they were descended from coran

 

**pidge:** they have fabulous mustaches

 

**pidge:** i miss u all, pls hurry up

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**allura:** So Coran is now only six phoebs old. This is a serious problem.

 

**allura:** But it’s also hilarious, I’m not gonna lie.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** allura? is that u??

 

**allura:** Pidge! You saved Coran and I!!

 

**pidge:** afdksd sure i did

 

**pidge:** i just got your attention

 

**allura:** Thank you, Pidge. I missed you.

 

**pidge:** <3

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** just a few more minutes shiro

 

**keith:** i’m sure they will be here soon

 

**black:** I really hope so.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**pidge:** lance? hunk? keith? Shiro?

 

**pidge:** anyone in this vicinity??

 

**lance:** pidge?

 

**allura:** Lance! You’re here!!

 

**lance:** of course i am ,’:)

 

**hunk:** Shut up, Lance

 

**allura:** Hunk!

 

**pidge:** hunk!

 

**allura:** Drift

 

**pidge:** YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND i’m so proud of u allura

 

**allura:** Hunk, Lance, are there any other paladins on this planet?

 

**lance:** not that we know of. pretty sure our lions would have sensed them by now

 

**allura:** Alright. There is one more place we might find Keith and Shiro.

 

**form voltron i guess**

 

**keith:** shiro!!

 

**keith:** stop moping over there and come look!!

 

**pidge:** keith! shiro!!

 

**black:** Hey, Pidge.

 

**lance:** keith, shiro, u okay? i see all of your messages now

 

**lance:** how’s red? 

 

**keith:** i need you guys to come get him, he is not doing well

 

**keith:** but you should really be worrying about shiro

 

**black:** Leave me alone, smart-ass.

 

**allura:** Shiro, what’s wrong?

 

**black:** Nothing, really. The witch got a hand on me and it’s a little sore.

 

**keith:** shiro you have a glowing purple wound

 

**black:** Keith, say another word and I will punt you into the fucking sun.

 

**keith:** sure

 

**pidge:** keith and shiro are such obvious siblings this is amazing

 

**allura:** Paladins, I’m very happy you all have returned. I never realized how much I have grown to care for you all than when I lost you.

 

**lance:** aww thx allura!!

 

**pidge:** i want nothing more than to make a joke about how i have no emotions but i would be lying

 

**pidge:** allura you are so good thank u for existing

 

**allura:** <3

 

**hunk:** oh! I haven’t been paying attention lmao

 

**hunk:** Allura, you are amazing and I love you so much

 

**hunk:** Platonically, of course

 

**allura:** You’re so sweet, Hunk. <3

 

**keith:** <3

 

**allura:** All the emotions packed into two characters. Thank you Keith.

 

**keith:** leave me alone

 

**black:** Thank you, Allura. It means a lot.

 

**allura:** Alright, now get in a cryopod, Mr. “I’m fine”

 

**black:** Fine.

 

**pidge:** this whole conversation is so soft 

 

**pidge:** i can’t associate myself with you all anymore this is too much

 

**lance:** aw pidge u know u love us

 

**pidge:** sigh

 

**pidge:** i do, sadly

 

**lance:** <3

 

**pidge:** send another fucking heart and i will bite your shins

  
**keith:** and we’re back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was feeling soft so this spawned
> 
> also, i told myself this would be a short chapter bc i dreaded having to switch back and forth-and don't get me wrong i did hate it- but it ended up being over 1000 words and that's long for me so  
> i hope you all liked it! have a good day, lovelies

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading expect more soon bc i have nothing better to do


End file.
